Co-sleeping photo October 27, 2005

Wanted include this photo to the post on co-sleeping, but some how blogspot wasn’t allowing it. So here is one pic I wanted to share. This is one way that we co-sleep. Not very comfortable (for my bladder), but I don’t mind, anyway, it happens rarely (we mostly sleep like normal people do).

Co-sleeping – Great Plans Do Fail October 26, 2005

I could never relate to parents who co-sleep with their child, and when I learnt that some are still doing that even when the child is primary school going, I hissed under my breath.

Before Zara was born, we were doing rooms allocation and decoration plan for our new house, and I have big plans. We will have a separate room for Zara, she will learn how to be independent from day one. When people asked me where Zara was going to sleep when she’s born, I said smugly, “In the study room attached to our master bed room.” (this was in the old house). For her cot, I purposely looked for a big one which will be able to cater a child up till 3, 4 years of age.

I have never planned for what was coming.

As it was nearer to my EDD, I told Daddy the study room would be a bit too stuffy, since there’s only a small fan, and no aircon, I suggested that the cot be placed in the master bed room.

Then Zara was born, such a fragile and dependent little baby. I was always worried about SID (Sudden Infant Death). In her first month, I consciously woke up several times in the night just to check if she was still breathing (we didn’t have a confinement lady as stated here).

I started bringing her to bed for night feeds, we just laid side by side, she nursed and I could just lie down and watch her (less taxing on my back), or touch her. Several times, I drifting off to sleep half way, and didn’t put Zara back into her cot after her feed. Some how, with her sleeping close to me made me rest better (for one, I didn’t have to walk to her cot to check).

Then it started to become a norm, if she woke up for her night feed, she would sleep with us till the next morning.

Zara slept through starting from her 6th week. She would take her last feed at 11pm, then slept for 6 to 7 hours. This mean she would come to our bed, and have her milk at 5 or 6am and stayed till we woke up.

Somehow, she started waking up middle of the night again. Sometimes due to night mare, sometimes I think just so she could come to sleep with us. She would wake up at 4am, cried, and when we brought her to our bed, she would snuggle close to us, and went back to sleep (sometimes she would only go back to sleep if I nurse her). Then 4am became 3am, and 3am became 2am. Lately, at around 1am, she will be awake, stands in her cot, and starts shouting for me. She will stop only if she was brought to our bed.

In bed, to feel her head resting close to my arm or just being able to reach out and touch her, made me feel peaceful. Sometimes, she would have her arm thrown across ours, in the mornings, Daddy and I would competecompare notes on whom she clung on most during the night.

When Daddy is out of town, I would normally sleep with her. I found emotionally I am more peaceful with her next to me. I could always go to sleep with a smile, and wake up with a smile. And for Zara, I noticed that if she slept with me the whole night, she would rarely wake up in the middle of the night fussing, she would sleep through 10 solid hours.

I started finding excuses to get her to sleep with us.
“She seems to be having a slight cough, maybe she should come and sleep with us tonight so I can monitor her.”
“I’m very tired today, so I don’t want to walk to the cot to comfort her if she cried in the middle of the night, can she sleep with us?”
and lately, no more excuses, I just put her in our bed, and said “lets have her sleep in our bed tonight“.

Mind you, Daddy and I share a queen size bed; he’s a six footer, and I’m nothing close to being petite. We had to move our bodies close to the edge of the bed, and let her occupy the big space in the centre, but Daddy didn’t mind, and I love it. So, she’s spending more and more nights in our bed.

I now understand why people co-sleep with their child/children, it’s really for inner peace, for the child as well as the parents. As for the room we’d allocated to Zara, hmm, I’m not sure when I’ll ever be able to let her sleep so far away me.

Now, I’ll probably be hissed at since my great plans have failed.

Heart Warming Moment II October 25, 2005

It must have been me co-sleeping with Zara the last whole week when Daddy wasn’t around. She has always cling to me, but has not shown such affection before.

Occasion 1(yesterday morning and this morning) :
We were in the car as usual, Zara on her car seat in the front passenger seat, and I was driving towards King’s Wife’s place.
Zara : *hand reached out to my side, and look at me* “Uh…”
Me : *try to concentrate on the road but threw glances at her* “Yes Zara?”
Zara : *still looking at me with her hand reached out to me* “Uh…”
Normally, this indicated that she wanted my breast pad. But these 2 occasions, I’d already given her my breast pad earlier.
Me : *guess and gave her my hand* “You want mummy’s hand?”
Zara : *held it and grinned*
When I had to withdraw the hand to use both hand to steer, she would start all over again asking for my hand, and only be happy when my hand was in hers

Occasion 2 (yesterday night)
I had my dinner, and joined Zara in the living room. She was standing holding on to the coffee table while watching her favourite VCD Wheels In The Bus.
When I sat next to Zara, she started putting both her arms around me, then laid her head on my shoulder.
Me : “Zara don’t want to watch Zara’s show?”
Zara let go of her arm, one hand still held on to my shoulder, and continued looking at the TV.
Then, again, she wrapped her arm around me, and laid her head on my shoulder or stick her face close to mine.
This was done repeatedly for a few times.
My 11yr old niece Alicia saw all these and commented, “Aunty, why does Zara love you so much?”

Occasion 3 (this morning)
Daddy left for work earlier than usual, maid drying the clothes down stairs. Zara and I were in our room and I wanted to take my morning shower, so I carried Zara to her toys.
Me : “Zara, you play with your toy toy here ok? Mummy shower first”
I left her (making sure nothing dangerous or non child safe was lying around), left my pile of clothes at the door of the bathroom, went to the bathroom and closed the door (don’t want her to get to the toilet bowl) to shower.
After 5minutes, I thought I would go and check on her. Dripping wet, I opened the door.
Zara was seated on the floor right next to the door, she was holding on to my breast pad (found it from the pile of clothes I left), sucking her thumb, and looked up to give me a smile.
Me : “Zara, why don’t you go and play with your toys?”
Zara crawled towards me, and reached her hand out, wanting me to carry her.
Me : “Zara, go play with you toys ok? Mummy will go back to shower already ok?”
She sat back down on the floor, I closed the door and went back to finish my shower.
When I was done, and opened the toilet door, there she was, in the same position again, holding on to the breast pad, and sucking her thumb. When she saw me coming out, she let go of her thumb, and raised her hands to me, wanting me to carry her.

Is she becoming more affectionate or she’s just having separation anxiety? I hope it’s not the latter.