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Confinement – Over January 30, 2007

Posted by Zara's Mama in bitching, my two girls, parenting.

Confinement is finally over!!

Actually it was over for me on Friday, when Daddy and I left the girls with the CL and Tuyam and went for dinner. Just the two of us. The first time we did this in 26months! Yes, since Zara was born, we never gone out for a dinner without her. Sad eh?
When we got back, Zara was asleep. Tuyam told us Zara was hugging my bolster and pillow crying, “Mummy sorry, mummy, sayang (Malay : stroke, love) you (me)”; and she cried so long that she tired herself and dozed off. She thought I went out because I was angry with her, even though I’d told her we’d gone out for dinner with my boss and children are not supposed to go  (a lie, I know) . I felt so sorry.

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Daddy sent the CL off with RM20 ang pow and full pay on Saturday. When Daddy told her about not giving her a big ang pow, the CL said she understood and she was sorry about the kitchen top.
To be fair to the CL, although she was not very helpful with other chores ourside of her ‘job description’ (if they have one) and being so forgetful and careless, she was good to Zaria. That was why we kept her for the full 30days.
No matter how many times I woke her up in the night to change Zaria’s diaper (if I knew it was soiled), she woke up willingly, never once sounded impatient and talked to Zaria softly while changing her.
She called Zaria by her name and always spoke to her gently (my first CL told me she never called the babies under her care by their names, preferring to call them ah-boy or ah-girl). Before she left, she kissed Zaria on the cheek (Ew!) and told her to be good.

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Zaria had her fullmoon celebration in Dragon I on Saturday, just a family event. She was very well behaved with so many people taking turns to carry her.

On Sunday, it was Daddy and my first trip bringing the two girls out. We just went out in the evening to the Lake Gardens, and then for dinner. To get everybody ready, it took 2hrs!
Zaria slept througout the time we were in Lake Gardens and by dinner time she was awake and fussing. Dinner was total chaos. We have Zaria crying (which is getting more common after the CL left) in my arms; Zara on Daddy’s lap refusing to have her dinner and making a mess of everything on the table. Both of us were eating with one hand, while holding on to each girl with the other.
Other diners were throwing glances at us, probably saying to themselves “Thank God for contraceptive!”. *sigh*


Confinement Lady – Liability to the home January 24, 2007

Posted by Zara's Mama in bitching, home.

I don’t like to bitch in my blog, but I can’t help it.

In the house, my reign is in the kitchen. The utencils we used, the kitchen cabinets are mainly my choices, and I’m most proud of it. Now when you have a Madam-Know-It-All or Madam-Absent-Minded at home, what happened?

First incident : Madam-Know-It-All
We heard grinding sound in the wet kitchen and I thought the CL must be preparing some soup. I took a peek. To my horror, she was actually sharpening our Zwilling Ja Henckels knife on our stone mortar.
“What are you doing??”
“Sharpening your knife, it’s blunt.”
“What?? Do you know this is an expensive knife and should only use the proper sharperner to sharpen it?”
“My other clients also use this brand of knife ma, and they just use the stone mortar to sharpen it.”
“That’s their problem!! Please, the next time when you want to do such things, ask us if it’s ok first!”
There goes my RMXXX knife.

Incident Two : Madam-Forgetful
After her bath, Zara came down and mentioned, “Mmmm, I smelled toast.” I sniffed the air and smelled something sweet, asking if Tuyam was making toast, but she said nope.
Got her to check the wet kitchen and she said the CL is double boiling something and the water has dried up.
Called for the CL (who was somewhere reading her papers) and she went to have a check.
“Aiya.. I thought still got lots of water, didn’t know dried up liao.”
After some scrub scrub, wash wash, the wok could not be saved. The CL was double boiling DOM ginger chicken soup for me, and the sweetish DOM has spilled out and got burnt, leaving a blackish crust on the wok.
There goes my well seasoned wok.

Incident Three : Madam-Know-It-All AND Madam-Absent-Minded
I was reading a book to Zara and preparing for bed, and suddenly the CL came up and said, “Aiya, I was pouring out your soup and the pot burnt me, so I quickly placed the pot on your kitchen top. Now there’s a mark there. I’ll go ask your husband to have a look.” and she went out to the study to get Daddy.
I thought it was a small matter but I heard a loud scream from Daddy.
Oh boy, must be bad, I quickly went down to have a look.
Sure thing, our two year old Ikea kitchen top has a big burnt mark on it just next to the sink. (Ouch!)
“Aiya, not serious lar. Can use paint to paint it, then you won’t see the mark any more. I forgot ma. All my clients have tiles kitchen top. Didn’t know yours is wood, can burn.”
I was so furious I just said, “Few days ago, the wok, now this!”
This is by far the worst damage, because you can’t just change the top, it’s too troublesome, we’ll have to live with this ugly mark for as long as we still have this kitchen cabinets!
Kitchen top

Scarred for Life!

Daddy told me to cool it just in case she may do some thing to Zaria. He mentioned he’ll settle with her this Sat, her last day! The worst thing we could do is not to give her ang pow, what else can we do?

And I haven’t even included the shower head that she broke on Day 3 she arrived in our house! Niah Mah! KNN! @#%!@#%

Breast Feeding Zaria January 23, 2007

Posted by Zara's Mama in breastfeeding, development, language, my two girls, Zara, Zaria.

It’s nice to see that Zaria is getting a bit chubby, and I feel proud knowing that all this was the result of her drinking the milk I produced.

She latched on well since day one which makes breastfeeding her easy. She now drinks 3 to 4 hourly, and I think she should be drinking about 3oz. In the day, when she wants milk, she’ll just give us a shout (yeah, a shout, like “Ehhhh”); and in the night (she probably knows this since the room is dark), she only makes the “Eh Ugh” sound or shuffles in her sleep when it’s time for her feed. Once she ‘informs’ us she wants her milk, she patiently awaits for us to feed her. What a nice baby she is.

She’s now nick named Chubby Cheeks at home.

Chubby Cheeks

Chubby Cheeks

Chubby Cheeks asleep

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Since Zara only weaned off from the breast at 18 months, she remembers those breast feeding days. I initially thought I will probably need to do tandem feeding when Zaria was born, but she was proud to have been ‘promoted’ to jiejie, and she thinks only babies drink from breast.

On the first night after we were back from the hospital, I was feeding Zaria, and realised that it’s also milk time for Zara. I asked “Zara, you want milk?” (actually asking if she wanted me to make her milk for her). She looked at me with this funny expression, and pointed to her teeth, “Zara got teeth already, cannot drink milk from the breast.” :-I

There are other times when she proudly says, “Mei mei baby, drink milk from mummy’s breast. Zara jiejie already, drink bottle milk only.” or “Last time Zara baby, Zara drink breast milk, now Zara big girl already, drink milk from bottle only”

She’s so proud to be all big and grown up now. 😛

Reality Check January 18, 2007

Posted by Zara's Mama in language, parenting, Zara.

Since I go to bed the same time as Zara (and luckily Zaria goes to bed the same time too), I started praying together with her lying down on my bed. I’ll ask her to put her hands together, and I’ll say the prayer, it goes some thing like this : “Mummy ask Jesus to protect Zara and meimei, so that Zara and meimei will be strong and healthy. Mummy ask Jesus to teach mummy to be a good mummy.”

Yesterday, after I’d finished the above prayer, Zara added, “Mummy ask Jesus to teach mummy to be a good mummy, so that mummy will not scold Zara so much yeah?”

Oh boy, her ‘prayer’ tickled me but at the same time made me realise I must be quite harsh on her most of the time. I have to learn from this young lady, to use more positive words when I give out instructions or comments to Zara.

So God, help me to be a better mum, that I will not scold my kids (or sound as though I’m scolding them) so much. Amen.

When Reality Sinks In January 17, 2007

Posted by Zara's Mama in language, my two girls, Zara.

“Zara, please don’t jump on the bed, you may accidentally fall on meimei.”
“Ask Kakak to put on your CD for you, mummy is feeding meimei, mummy don’t have free hands.”
“Zara, please be careful with your toys and don’t drop them, meimei is sleeping, she may get a fright.”

These are said so frequently at home these days; and Zara suddenly realises that mummy is not 100% hers and that she’s no longer the only one who gets all the attention in the house.

Zara started to demand for more attention. She insisted that I nap with her, and if I didn’t, she would cry. When she wakes up from her nap and doesn’t see me next to her, she will wail, and shout for me. At night, she wants to sleep with me on my bed, and wants me to have my arms around her when she goes to sleep. I have to lie down in such a manner that I can have my arm holding her and at the same time feed Zaria.

There were times when Zaria needs a feed, and Zara will just start making a fuss, “Mummy put meimei down! I want to sit on mummy’s lap! PUT MEIMEI DOWN!”
“Daddy carry meimei, MUMMY CARRY ZARA.”
“I want mummy carry Zara NOW!”

The other day, when we told her that Auntie (the CL) is going to go home next week, Zara added, “When auntie go(es) home, ask Auntie to bring meimei home also. Zara don’t want meimei.”

Daddy and I have to really try and split our time among the 2. Zara now is more vocal and demanding, and since Zaria is more easy going, she’ll just lie there waiting to be fed. We have to be careful not to give in to Zara’s demand too much that we’ll deprive Zaria of our attention.

Sigh. Parenting with 1 child is tough, with 2, sometimes I feel like tearing my hair out (and this is just the beginning)! I pray for patience every night, and that I be fair to both kids, not to the one who shouts the loudest.

My girls January 12, 2007

Posted by Zara's Mama in development, language, my two girls, Zara, Zaria.

Zaria has entered into week 2, and as a new born we can see that she’s very much different from Zara.
Zara wailed for her milk when she was younger. And if we were a bit slow, she wailed until she turned all black.
Zaria just shuffles about, making ‘ek, ek, ek’ sound, when she wants milk. And patiently waits for us to feed her.

Zara dislikes wet or soil diaper even when she was an infant. When she cried, we have to go through a check list : 1) fed? 2) burped? 3) diaper wet/soiled?
Zaria is just not bothered with her diaper, if it’s on, if it’s wet or if it’s soiled.

We think she’ll have more patient than Zara, and probably better temprament. Maybe it’s just the ‘any thing also ok’ attitute of a Capricorn. We shall see.


Zara over night has grown quite a fair bit. Suddenly, we noticed she speaks better, using the accent she acquires from her TV program. She will shout for me from the stair case in the night, “Come on mum. It’s bed time. Let’s go upstairs.” And when Daddy leaves the room without saying goodnight to her, she’ll say, “I want daddy, daddy didn’t say good night to you (me).”

She’s also very direct nowdays. If we talked too loud when she’s watching her TV program, she’ll say “Shh.. Don’t talk so loud.” If she saw the CL siting there watching her TV program with her, she’ll say, “Aunty, close your eyes, don’t watch. This is Zara’s show.” Since she’s not very fond of the CL.

She’s very good with Zaria though. She is very gentle around her. “Mei mei very fragile, Zara must be careful, yeah.” she reminds herself every time she’s near Zaria. She likes to stroke and sniff Zaria’s hair, her way of showing her affection to Zaria. 
Girls together in the morning

Hello and Finally a name. January 9, 2007

Posted by Zara's Mama in Zaria.

Since we have 2 daugthers now, I shall start a new blog for the 2 of them instead of using the previous one meant for Zara. It’s about time too, since Blogger is giving me much problem these days especially with photos loading.

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We have finally being forced to decide decided on mei-mei’s name since the 14days time limit is almost up.

We were undecided between Zonya and Zaria. Daddy likes Zaria very much, but I was a bit worried with the use of this name since the pronunciation is very close to Zara. We may call for one of them, and they may not know whom we were addressing. I let Daddy make the decision since I made the call for mei-mei’s Chinese name.  He was still calling me from the registra this morning to confirm the name, see how undecided we were?

She will be called Zaria. It has the same meaning as Zara, both meaning princess, and both are current European princesses’ names, i.e. Princess Zara Phillips (daugther of Princess Anne) from Great Britain and Countess Zaria from Netherlands.

So here is a new blog for our 2 girls aka princesses, Zara and Zaria

Photos – Baby, Girls’ moment January 8, 2007

Posted by Zara's Mama in development, language, my two girls, Zaria.

Who does she look like? She has Daddy’s eye lids, but my big pupils. Daddy’s nose, and sharper face

Looking pretty serious here.

Zara’s pretty loving towards meimei the minute they met. She wants to ‘sayang’ meimei every time when meimei cries or frets by stroking and singing to meimei. She likes to hug meimei for no reason. Drinking milk together in the night.

Meimei’s small hands compared to mine.

Update on Zara
When we asked Zara what we should call meimei since we have already shortlisted to 2 names, and we wanted her to choose one, she just said “mei mei’s name is mei mei.”

Zara has also started to ask the Why question. E.g. “Why the korkor (Chinese : big brother) nose like that one” when she saw a picture of a boy with big longish nose.

Zara’s is getting better in reasoning.
Daddy asked her to walk when all she wanted was to be carried when they go for their park trip. She told daddy, “Daddy carry Zara. Daddy need(s) excercise.”
I told her to stay away from meimei since she is not fully recovered from chicken pox and she told me, “I’m feeling better already. I eat (ate) my chicken pox medicine already.”

And she started calling Daddy “Dad” and me “Mum”. I have no idea where she learn that (TV maybe?).

Updates – Birth, Baby, Zara, CL, Me January 8, 2007

Posted by Zara's Mama in bitching, my two girls, myself, parenting, pregnancy.

Our 2nd daugther was born on 28th Dec evening.

I opted for elective induction and admitted in the morning to be induced. Dr inserted a pill into the cervix to start things off and later put me on drips. I only got a little contraction, I could still read, listen to music, talk to Daddy gaily.

When the drip dosage was increased to 100%, my cervix was barely 2 cm opened, even though the contraction pain started to become unberable. I wanted to go without pain relief for as long as I can but after 1 1/2hr, I started using the (entonox) gas. Then the midwife suggested that I go with pain killer since I got very tense every time the contraction started which would affect the cervix dilation. After talking to Daddy, I opted for Pethidine, just like I did with Zara’s birth.

The minute Pethidine was injected, I started relaxing and the cervix started to dilate. We were disturbed by baby’s heart beat though. Every time when a contraction started, her heart beat went down, after the contraction, the heart beat recovered. Dr was called and he told us that it may be due to 1) baby was compressed in the birth canal or 2) baby’s umblical cord was around her neck. The latter could be life threatening. He told us we could either opt for emergency c-sect for safest bet, but looking from the way things are progressing, he told us to hang a little bit longer. We were worried, but trusted his judgement.

Soon after that, I could feel the urge to push (that’s why I didn’t want to go for epidural since it will numb all such sensation). Midwife checked me and found that baby’s head was already crowning. Every thing started to happen, within minutes, Dr was back in the labour room, gave me an episiotomy, and the delivery began. This round, no help needed, baby just got pushed out with one push.

The minute I heard her cry, all pain was forgotten, although I still felt a bit high and dizzy from Pethidine, the rush of joy was overwhelming.

The little girl was 2.91Kg (Zara was 3.39Kg), and her height was 51.5cm (Zara was 50.5cm).

The room we spent 12hrs in awaiting for the birth of our 2nd daugther

I worried too much. When I was pregnant, I was constantly worried that I will not love baby as much as I do with Zara. I just found new capicity to love her. How can you not love your own flesh and blood?

Baby is good, she’s more patient than Zara and even when she’s hungry, she’ll cry a little and wait for me to feed her (Zara used to cry and turn black every time we were a bit too ‘slow’).

She sleeps a lot still, but when she’s awake, she likes to look around, checking us out. She was admitted back to the hospital for jaundice for 2 nights and now she’s back home coping well.

We still call her baby or mei-mei (Chinese : Small sister) since we haven’t decided on the name yet. 😦

Zara is doing very well as a jie-jie (Chinese: Big sister). We gave her a set of nice markers as a present from baby and also bought her a baloon when she came visiting, telling her she’s now jie-jie to baby and mummy’s assistant. She’s very proud of her new titles.

The first few days, she cried when baby cried for milk. She didn’t want the Confinement Lady (CL) to handle mei-mei when mei-mei cried but insisted that “Mummy, sayang (Malay : pat) mei-mei. Don’t want aunty (CL) sayang.” She constantly wants to hug and stroke her mei-mei but unfortunately, she contracted chicken pox (probably from visiting mei-mei in the peadiatric ward) after mei-mei was discharged and we told her not to be too close to mei-mei for the time being.

Confinement Lady
What’s wrong with these people? They think so highly of themselves that they don’t wash dishes, do house work or help out with the older kids even when they are just siting around doing nothing.

I’m barely able to stand her, and Daddy is very tempted to get rid of her. She’s more like a cook instead of a CL. Since I’m 100% breastfeeding, and I like to be a bit hands on (like cleaning baby’s poo or topping and tailing baby) she doesn’t have much to do.

Baby sleeps with me in the night, and when I naps. I wake up to feed her while the CL sleeps away. She cooks for me 3 meals a day, washes baby’s clothes, bathes baby and that’s about all she does. She doesn’t help with Zara at all, nor anything else in the house. She sleeps when I sleeps (and sometimes before), and when Zara watches her VCDs/DVDs, she watches with Zara(but not to care for Zara, even small little things like giving Zara snacks or taking a drink for Zara from the fridge, CL will shout for Tuyam to do it).

The only good thing that came out of this is she knows what I should and should not eat and make sure whatever I take help with milk production. With Zara (without a CL), my milk came on day 5. With baby, my milk came on day 4 and supply is pretty good.

I’m doing fine but a bit tired. 2 kids vs 1 is very different.

When baby is feeding and Zara needs attention, I have to be tactful, or still give Zara the attention by talking to her or doing things with her with my free hand. I still try to spend as much time as I can with Zara so that she doesn’t feel I’m neglecting her.

When baby is alert, I try to talk to her and carry her around to show her the house or look at new things.

I only get to rest when both of them are sleeping. Luckily, I can breastfeed while lying down, so in the night when baby wakes up for her feed, I just latch her on and continue to sleep while she feeds.

I’m not sure what is wrong with blogger but have been trying to post more photos but not able to after the hospital shot.. *sigh* May not be able to update or read blogs as frequently for now until things are more settled.

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