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Confinement Sleeping Arrangement December 21, 2006

Posted by Zara's Mama in language, parenting, pregnancy, Zara.
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We had very bad experience with our first confinement lady (CL) when we had Zara. Being extremely unhygenic (picked nose then applied diaper cream on Zara; dipped a spoon into her mouth to taste her own cooking and then using the same spoon to stir the broth later), totally non supportive of my breast feeding plan (when Zara cried because of hunger, she started chanting, “aiyo, girl girl ah, mummy naughty ah, don’t let you drink powder milk ah“, as though I wasn’t already stressed enough) and rough (the thumping sound she made when she burped Zara was heart breaking); she got the boot the 2nd day. I took care of Zara on my own (no MIL to offer help, didn’t trust maid with Zara) with a few visits from the hospital nurse to teach me how to bath and care for Zara.

We are trying our luck the 2nd time this round. Since I only started looking for one after I got my amnio result (into 5th month), we were not left with many choices (better ones were already hired). I haven’t met the CL, don’t know what she looks like, how she is.

Daddy is extremely skeptical about leaving baby at night with the CL alone in a room for that one month. Since I’m going to breast feed anyway, we plan to have the CL sleep with me in our room, while Daddy takes the guest’s room.

The thing is where will the CL sleep? On our queen size bed with me? Err.. I don’t think I want that. On Zara’s bed? Hah, here is what Zara said when we tried to ‘negotiate’ with her.
Me : “Zara let Aunty sleep on your bed, then Zara sleep with mummy on mummy’s bed ok? At night, mummy can hug hug you to sleep (to ‘motivate’ her)”
Zara : “Zara’s bed is Zara’s. Aunty sleep downstairs on the sofa.”
Me : “There are lots of bugs downstairs at night.”
Zara : *pointing to the guest’s room* “Aunty sleep in the other room.”
Me : “Daddy is sleeping there already… We changed the mattress, bed sheets on your bed, then Zara let Aunty sleep on your bed can or not?”
Zara : “Nooo! This is special bed *pointing to her bed*, only Zara can sleep here. Nobody can sleep” (and I was worried she won’t settle in her own bed, when we moved her from her cot to the bed)
Me : “Then where will aunty sleep?”
Zara : *pointed to the floor in our room* “Sleep there then.”

So, here is our plan, we’ll be setting up another single bed in our room near the cot, and have the CL sleep there for that month.

Have a look at the room now, it’ll turn into a dorm when the other bed is moved in!

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Comments»

1. Sue - December 21, 2006

Hi,
Congratulations and good luck to you since you going to deliver soon.
CL, ehhh I had a crasy one too. How crasy, ehhh I want fry egg but she keep making omellete for me. She curi makan my p*g stomach, only serve 1/4 to me and ate the other 1/4. She slept till 8 in the morning and my hubby got to prepare b’fast for me. She curi curi make FM for bb while I have ebm in the fridge. Hai…. CL crasy ….. Good Luck to you. Hope you get a good one this time round.

2. IMMomsDaughter - December 21, 2006

Nvmlah, dorm also for one month only. I oso don’t like CL sleeping with me on the master bed.

3. greenapple - December 21, 2006

I am sure everything will turn out alright. Yeah, dorm life for a month but if that helps, why not? Hopefully your CL will be of a better quality this time around.

4. mott - December 21, 2006

Whoa!!! Looks like a huge sleepover party!!!! Hope CL doesn’t snore!!

5. Vien - December 21, 2006

Er, must the CL really sleep with you guys? I would never wanna sleep with someone I don’t know.

6. Anonymous - December 21, 2006

The baby will wake up Zara at night when she cries. Then Zara will wake up and you will have baby and Zara demanding attention! Suggest Zara sleeps with Daddy…

7. Simple American - December 21, 2006

Anonymous idea is pretty good I think. Plus if you do this then perhaps it opens the door for Zara to have her own room. Be a jie-jie like her cousins with her own. (I assume the cousins have their own room)

8. mumsgather - December 21, 2006

Echo what Vien said. In fact, not only did we not want strangers sleeping in our room, hubby didn’t want one in the house, so I did everything the hard way myself for both kiddoes without the help of Mother, MIL, CL or maid and you can be sure that I made Mr MG help out as much as he can since it was his idea not to have a CL!

Since you are planning to breastfeed, the CL won’t be much help to you at night. Daddy will be more useful so why not have him in the room to look after Zara if baby wakes her up. CL can sleep in the guest room. The other upside to this arrangement is daddy will bond better with the baby too instead of sleeping away from baby for the first month.

9. huisia - December 21, 2006

Ya, i understand your worries, but if you really want the CL sleeping with you, then how about let Daddy takes care of Zara in the other room?

Last time my MIL was with me in the same room, but she was totally served herself like queen and i was like maid, so this time totally no MIL!

I hope your CL is OK, and hope your confinement period can run smooth. 🙂

10. michelle - December 21, 2006

I must say you have a big room.

I was fortunate to have 2 good CL taking care of my newborns. The first one is really good and her schedule is perfect.

11. may - December 21, 2006

so much space to roll around!! rolllll… rollllll… rollllllll…

12. Jesslyn - December 21, 2006

ya, me dun want stranger in my room too!

I have same thought as MG.

Hope u hv a smooth delivery ya! Take care.

13. Zara's Mama - December 21, 2006

Sue,
Thank you, and I need the luck!

Immomsdaugther,
Yeah.. one month only. Just ‘yan’.

Greenapple,
I hope my CL will be better too this round.

Mott,
Oh yeah man, I hope she won’t snore too.

Vien,
If she doesn’t sleep with the baby (or near the baby), then I don’t think I want need her then. I need the rest at night. I don’t mind waking up to feed the baby (since I can feed lying down), but if the baby needs changing, I hope she can take over.

Anon,
Zara won’t settle with Daddy. Normally if Zara is very sound asleep, she will not be awaken easily in the night.

Simple American,
Err.. I don’t think I want her to sleep in her own room first. The other rooms are too far away from our master bed room. *sigh*

Mumsgather,
I thought CL can help to burp her, change her if needed. And if baby cry, she can check first if baby needs a change or a feed.
My hubby will not be able to help out much, as he can’t change, nor feed the baby. The last round of confinement he was not of much help, except with giving Zara one feed in the middle of the night, that too, he woke me up every time he tried to feed her by leaving her in the room to cry for a long long time. *sigh*.

Huisia,
Daddy cannot handle Zara one wor. That’s why have to leave Zara with me.
Haha.. your MIL lagi teruk than mine.

Michelle,
And luckily I have a big room, or else it can’t get turned into a dorm. 😛
Oh.. lucky you. Should have asked you for a contact huh?

May,
Roll roll roll and boink!

Jesslyn,
Haih, I also don’t want. But seems like the best solution, for now.

14. sesame - December 21, 2006

Wow, Zara’s very firm hor for her age!

Actually like some of the ladies here, I also hate the idea of a confinement lady. Which is why I didn’t have one. I only got confinement food ordered. Well, since you’re going to close shop for good, it’s better to have one this round. Make sure your body is well taken care of so that you won’t have to suffer all the backaches and stuff…

15. babykhong - December 21, 2006

You have a very big room which can accomodate so many beds, good for you. Hope your CL is much better this time.

I told my CL that she won’t be sleeping with the baby or me. I’m not used to stranger sleeping with me…hehehe. Furthermore, daddykhong will ‘kau tim’ at night. She is lucky that she can have a good night sleep.

16. L B - December 21, 2006

You can all come stay in my bedroom! No one sleeps there.. I prefer the sofa! LOL, sorry… but only thing I can think of to say! Good luck with your CL. I am sure she will be better than the last one.

17. Sasha - December 22, 2006

dun worry la. U have so many frens here in blogsphere all terror terror wan. If nobody help u, i help u when i’m free la..i bring jayden to play with zara also..hehe

18. Nadia - December 22, 2006

Eeewww, the previous CL is gross! Anyway, it’ll just be for a month, so I’m hoping that everything will turn out well. =) I’m sure you guys will do just fine. And Zara will love her lil’ sis. Take care!

19. ah pek - December 22, 2006

ZM,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Hope you have a smooth and painless delivery!!

20. chanelwong - December 22, 2006

Zara is adjusting well on her own bed which is good…Good thing your room is big enough to put another bed…

21. blurblur - December 22, 2006

Your first CL was terrible!! I hope this time round, you’ll have a wonderful confinement lady.

Wah, your room is big leh..can put so many things. When my next one come, Damien gotta sleep in his own room already, cos no more space for his mattress after putting in the baby cot..

22. Anonymous - December 22, 2006

I had no.2 when no.1 was about 2yrs2 mths. Being in confinement, I was in my bedroom all the time. No. 1 practically in the room with me in that one month. Only went downstairs to eat, shower and any other time, she wanted to spend it with me. I actually lost my temper a few times when she jumped on the bed, talked incessantly during times when no.2 was falling asleep. You will anticipate Zara being even more clingy when no.2 appears on the scene. Be prepared. I remember one afternoon when no.2 was shitting in the potty in the room, and no.1 just finished her big poopoo in the diaper!!!

23. Fannie - December 22, 2006

Zara’s very smart ya? Her stuff are all exclusive to her and only!

I hope this Cl that you are going to have is a much better one! Bombing soon…take care and rest more! 🙂

24. jean - December 22, 2006

wow! Zara sure has her own mind in term of her things.. huh. hmm… so she knows what’s her and not… smart gal!

25. Julian - December 22, 2006

We never had CL in our family except for my 2nd SIL whom delivered my niece 2-3 months ago. Gosh, this CL spoilt the child totally. Every two hours gave her milk to drink and it was so much. Then carry her to sleep all the time!

So after she left, you know what happened? My niece was used to all those routine and this put a lot of stress on the parents. Every two hours need to feed and need to be fed while carrying. Cant put her down on the cot to sleep. Must carry her. I pity them.

I guess its hard to find a good CL.

26. geetha - December 22, 2006

It must be hard to find a CL that can get along with the family and somehow train the baby towards the family’s routine. She must be really good!

Zara’s is learning to own things.. it is fair that she doesn’t feel like sharing with starngers.. 🙂

I somehow find it difficult to have another stranger sleeping in the same room as me and handling my newborn 😉

Must be tough for you.. but I guess you will have to set up another bed for her..

27. shoppingmum - December 22, 2006

I don’t have CL for both, so I’m not sure about having other people sleeping with us. In fact, I would prefer to have hubby sleeping in the same room with us, than the CL.
BTW, please check out my new blog ya? 🙂

28. Kevin - December 23, 2006

We actually leave our baby to sleep with our CL. Just wondering, what could go wrong? Everything seem fine so far.

29. jazzmint - December 23, 2006

wahhh…room full of mattresses :P.. I slept with my CL for 2nd one, 1st one I let the CL slept with faythe as there wasn’t any room left in the apt, they slept in the living room. 2nd one we have guest room so we let CL stayed there and I co sleep with her, I was skeptical too, but since bf baby, better lah

30. Samm - December 23, 2006

Congrats… congrats…. all the kancheongness will soon end. DOnt stress urself out too much, ok. Everything will turn out fine.

Wah, ur room so big, hoh. Make mine look like pigeon-hole oni, hehe

31. Anonymous - December 23, 2006
32. 1+2mom - December 23, 2006

Have a safe delivery to you.

We dun trust CL so we didnt take any CL when my confinement month, everything do by my own except those washing and cooking things all done by my MIL. Lucky got MIL help those washing things but the babies all takecare by my own even at nite. I think back also scare(when having twins), 1 day just sleep 3-4 hours. Everyday like dreaming, sometime bf also will fall asleep..haha.

33. Nine3 Nine 3 - December 24, 2006

Wishing you and your love one a “ Merry Christmas”
Luv
9393

34. Simple American - December 24, 2006

Merry Christmas to you, Zara, and Zara’s Dad. Happiest of New Years.

35. ky - December 24, 2006

Popping over to see if u have delivered and thot u had when I saw the title. Hehee.., not to worry, everything will be a breeze with this baby!

36. blurblur - December 25, 2006

Here’s wishing you and family a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful 2007 filled with good tidings all year round! 🙂

37. Shannon - December 25, 2006

ahaha…. i was thinking of the same thing, that u were saying she didn’t like the bed in the start… hehehe….

hope everything goes well during the confinement month ler…. 😀

GAMBADE!!!

38. shiaulin - December 25, 2006

Merry X’mas to u and Zara and Zara’s daddy!

No ‘sound’ from u these few days, X’mas baby is coming?

39. KittyCat - December 26, 2006

Wah, so many opinions above – hope they help you to decide! I had a horrible CL too and ended up caring for Lucas all on my own at night. Tired & sleepless like mad but all worth it coz can breastfeed & lose weight fast!

If it’s a second one, I would hire a CL but be firm that she’s only there to cook and help baby with baths and dressing etc.

I also wouldn’t let CL sleep with baby coz I heard a scary story from friend whose little bro almost drowned fr FM coz CL snored away while propping bottle on nappy for him to drink!

Let Daddy help – you may be surprised what he can do this time around ma God bless! =)

40. Helen - December 26, 2006

Greetings to you and your family!! 🙂

The room arrangement doesn’t look too bad. It’s just for a month and I guess practicality takes precedent over everything else. Don’t think too much, OK?

41. TWO LITTLE FELLAS - December 26, 2006

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

i think it’s a good idea to have the CL sleeps in the same room. At least you can oversee that she is handling the baby well at night.

it’s only for 1 month- just hang on. maybe you are lucky to get a decent one this time.

42. laundryamah - December 26, 2006

hmm CL in the same room?? ayo.. most CLs are against breastfeeding as it disrupts their time schedules. really got to keep fingers crossed! i think the best way is to prewarn them right from the start and let her know what u want, i guess that way no arguments later….all the best ok!

43. Fashionasia - December 26, 2006

hehe…i like the rack!! i need to get one of those….

44. Learn English From Zara « All About Zara and Zaria - July 12, 2007

[…] on his side of the bed. Zara : Daddy, you cannot sleep here. You go sleep there (pointing to the matress the confinement day used to sleep on) This is women’s bed, men’s bed is there! Just because Daddy slept on that mattress a […]


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