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Leaving Zara alone May 26, 2006

Posted by Zara's Mama in development, parenting, Zara.

About 2 months back, Zara started showing some sign of independence.

She wakes up in the morning, and if we still wanted to sleep, she would play on her own (although sometimes she stepped on sleeping bodies to get down of the bed, or to reach the other side of the bed to grab things that interest her).

I could leave her in the room and take a shower as long as I have her ‘approval’.
Me : Mummy take shower Zara play on your own ok?
If the answer is : OK. It means she’ll be fine, the most she would do is come to the bath room and peek into the shower screen.
If the answer is : Don’t want or Cannot. Then it means she would cry if I really step into the shower.
She would normally busy herself with her books, or just play with the bed side table (she pretends that’s her piano).

Zara understands instruction very well, and we can tell her
Don’t carry this because it’s heavy and it may fall on your feet (big books or small furniture)
Don’t climb on to the chair if nobody is around or you may fall
Don’t put small things in the mouth because you’ll get choked
Don’t put the lotion/cream in your mouth because it’ll make your stomach pain pain” and she would not ignore them.

We still of course try to make the environment as safe for her as it can be, but it’s good to know that even if she found a coin or a button on the floor, she wouldn’t put it in her mouth; and she wouldn’t climb up the book shelves or try to move the teak chair around when we’re not watching.

I caught a glimpse of what she was doing through sleepy eyes the other day. She was just playing in her own cot and talking to herself. When I saw how at ease she was playing on her own, I couldn’t help but to climb off the bed and took a few photos of the moment.

It’s also a good feeling to know that if we need to leave her alone for a moment, she wouldn’t do silly things to endanger herself.



1. sesame - May 26, 2006

You’re very lucky to have such a well behaved, and sensible child. Having read your blogs and some other mummies’, I tend to feel that girls are more “kwai” than boys. They are more sensible and would adhere to instructions.

My boy is not entirely ruly but he is getting more mischievous and definitely does not possess the same level of sensibility as Zara. I read that boys are generally different. If you tell them there’s danger, they’ll want to take a risk still. But not the girls.

2. L B - May 26, 2006

That is such a pleasure to know your kiddie is safe and happy…

3. Simple American - May 26, 2006

Zara is a smartie. But curiosity requires all those reminders. Sometimes when my kids were little I wished for velcro walls where I could stick em on safely while I went to the loo or cooked.

4. may - May 26, 2006

she won’t be alone much longer, yes? someone to play with soon, soon… 🙂

5. blurblur - May 26, 2006

I’m so envious…Zara is a good girl.

My Damien ah…if i tell him ‘don’t climb up the chair because you might fall and hurt yourself’ the next minute you’ll find him climbing up the chair..headache lah..

girls are better behaved than boys..

6. Zara's Mama - May 26, 2006

Yes.. I heard that before too.. It seems most girls are more sensible. However, there are some exception too.
Sometimes curiosity has the better of Zara and she does silly stunts and get hurt too. I’ll normally remind her, “See, mummy told you cannot do that right. Now what happened”. That kind of reinforce that she should listen to our ‘warnings’. 😛

Yes, but you can’t be too sure about such things. When I don’t hear any noise coming from the room, I normally will check on her from the bathroom or open my eyes (if sleeping) to take a peek.

Simple American,
Aah.. no play pan? But then will they stay there if their are slightly older?

Having another means having to do ‘retraining’ all over again.. *bite fingers*.. although long term, it’ll be good for the 2 of them to have company.

Damien is a boy ma.. And physical challenges always appeal to them. 🙂

7. Helen - May 27, 2006

The 3rd and 4th picture looks as though Zara can doze off any minute…. lol

You curi curi see what she’s doing in her cot… there’ll come a time when she’ll curi curi see what you and hubbby are doing in bed!! Just becareful!! lol

8. Blogie-Talkie - May 27, 2006

yar,, My boy talk to himself a lot,, being an only child mar,,
Soon Zara’s have a sibling to play with.
Wise mommy.

9. TWO LITTLE FELLAS - May 27, 2006

girls are more sensible and tend to learn from past experiences. when it comes to boy, they have the tendency to do more of what’s been told not to or they have such a short term memory.

but then again, your continuous pointing out and reinforcement when ‘things’ happen is a great way to teach the kids.

10. Hui Sia - May 27, 2006

Wah, the cot is with Zara’s name. Are you going to buy a new cot for your newborn or just change the name?

11. Jesslyn - May 27, 2006

she so good girl hor! My Lyon like koala bear lar, keep stick to me after i back from work! sigh..hubby said i too pamper her, that’s why cause her like that!:(

12. Cocka Doodle - May 28, 2006

You kena tagged liao. Now kuai-kuai go and do.

13. mom2ashley - May 28, 2006

ooooooo lucky you! she;s such a big girl now! ashley refuses to stay in the cot while i take my shower now. i let her play on the bathroom floor while i take my shower these days (with the shower screen open)…sigh

14. jazzmint - May 29, 2006

it’s so nice to see that Zara is now grown up and can entertain herself.

Gives you more time for your own and when baby comes I’m sure she’ll be a good helper 🙂

15. Egghead - May 29, 2006

I really really (x100) wished I could say the same for my son… but sadly… all I could say is only the opposite 😦

16. maria @ twinsmom - May 29, 2006

good girl, so well behave :), at least mommy no need to run around like a monkey with her LOL…

17. Zara's Mama - May 29, 2006

Nothing for her to see la.. since no activities happening. (My hubby said mission accomplished, no need to “DO” anything any more).

That’s the only reason I would like to have another baby. So that they have someone to talk to.
You? Stop ‘production’ or still considering?

Two Little Fellas,
That’s the rebellious genes working. Boys grow up to be men and still they do things which they are told not to do. 😛

I wonder the constant reinforcement will work with boy though, since I have no experience with little boys.

Hui Sia,
Those alphabets are stuck on with blue tack. If the baby is going to use that cot, then I’ll have to stick the new baby’s name. And Zara’s name will be moved to whichever new place (probably a new bed) she’ll be using.

Zara also hung on to me like a koala bear when I come back from work. But after spending some time with her, she’ll be ok, and will ‘allow’ me to take bath with her close by.

Cocka Doodle,
Aiya.. you ah.. always ka-ka-cau-cau one la.

Maybe it’ll get better when she’s able to move around and get to the things she’s interested at. Zara only started behaving this way 2 months ago. Before, she was like Ashley, it’s hard for me to even take bath of have dinner.

With new baby coming.. have to start all over again.. 😦 but hopefully the ‘jie jie’ can help jaga baby a bit. 😛

Hey, but you guys always watch TV and let him play around in the living room on his own right? So he’s actually quite good also, can play on his own and let you have to shot of TV.

18. Zara's Mama - May 29, 2006

Yeah.. although she monkey girl, still listen to mummy, so not too tough for me.

19. geetha - May 29, 2006

Isn’t it comforting to know that Zara’s is capable of playing safely and being independent. Its important now, especially when you’re having your second child 🙂

20. Allyfeel - May 29, 2006

Zara well behaved girl. Very “kuai”, later got didi, have to help mommy take care of did oo. 😛

She definitely looks so matured now.
Zara likes playing piano??

21. Sue - May 29, 2006

Such a big girl now!

22. Robin - May 29, 2006

do keep a close watch every now and then too..

Children will forever be children.

23. Sabrina - May 29, 2006

Zara’s baby cot looks just the same like Keith’s.I’ve modified the coat into a bed like you did for Zara and my cot never last for 2 days. My daughter came back and that fatty ran and jump on it and it broke into two.(*slap forehead*)

24. Zara's Mama - May 29, 2006

Thats right.. it really gives you the comfort feeling that she won’t do anything silly.

Huh? How do you know is didi ah?
She gets her exposure of piano from King’s Wife’s place, and yeah, she likes to play it.

Yes.. big girl.

Yes, need to. Sometimes if I find it’s too quiet with whatever she does, I’ll check on her.

Alamak.. gone is your nicely ‘modified’ cot.

25. Anonymous - May 30, 2006

puhleezzz…you are her mother! U don’t need her approval to take a shower!!

26. Zara's Mama - May 31, 2006

Oh boy, you either aren’t a parent yet, or you practice dictatorship in your household. You are the dictator, and your kids are merely there to obey orders.

27. Anonymous - May 31, 2006

My dear zara’s mama,
Contrary to what you might think, I am very much a parent. I never had this problem where my child is so attached to me until I can’t even take a frigging shower!!!

I just find it absolutely absurd that you have to gain your child’s approval to even disappear from her sight for a short while. You must learn to distract her, or let someone else draw her attention, so that you can attend to your own basic needs like taking a shower or a pee.

In other words…LET GO!

28. Anonymous - May 31, 2006

I tend to agree with anonymous. In some point of time, you do need time for yourself like a shower. It’s your time, so why do you need Zara’s approval. Do you get Daddy’s approval to do anything?
I am very much a parent myself – I love and adore my own children very much but I need my space too. Having some time to myself doesn’t mean I love my children any less. You have to balance your life!

29. Anonymous - June 9, 2006

What a great site, how do you build such a cool site, its excellent.

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